Trump’s “EPIC rally” turns to farewell tour.

Oh dear, what a flop. The Donald’s campaign manager, Brad Parscale, proudly boasted “just passed 800’000 tickets. Biggest data haul and rally signup of all by 10x. Saturday is going to be amazing!”. But poor Billy Goat Brad suffered huge humiliation last night as the epic rally fell flat on its face in Tulsa, Oklahoma where the overflow stage was promptly packed up upon the realisation that nobody was coming. I only hope Parscale hasn’t cut his ties with his website building career, he will probably be returned their soon. The video of a bedraggled Trump trudging off the plane, giving a half hearted salute with his tie draped around his shoulders, barely able to lift each foot off the ground as he shuffled back to the White House will be replayed and replayed across the world. He looks dejected and rather sad. Perhaps he knows that the jig is up.  

Source: The Independent

There was a tinny echo that reverberated throughout Tulsa and across the world during his speech, the type of echo that comes with thousands of empty seats, reminiscent of the uninspiring turnout for his inauguration. The photos put up on his infamous twitter page were of the masses on the ground floor, as if the camera had have been tilted one tier up, the sea of blue would have shown the epic rally to be the embarrassment it truly was. 

But the worst was still to come from the contents of the orangutan’s speech. A tapestry of gaffes so long that Biden needn’t point them out, they are as plain as the leather sole on Trump’s shoes. The man who so often goes on the offensive seems to be very hurt by the campaign ads from the Lincoln Project or the #TrumpIsNotWell trend, so much so that he felt compelled to defend himself in front of his fiercest supporters. Parts of it seemed like a comedy routine that would be performed in some dark dingy gentlemen’s club back room with the air thick with smoke, “I SAID GENERAL…I SAID GENERALLL”, before describing why he creeped down the ramp like the Pink Panther. He moved from his defence of how he walks to the defence of how he drinks, flexing his muscles on his ability to drink water with one hand. Incredible. POTUS managed to drink a glass of water and throw it away, which to his puppets means he is the “GREATEST. PRESIDENT. EVER!”. What a sick joke. What next? Will he proudly showcase his exceptional ability to tie his laces? His remarkable talent in boiling an egg? Or perhaps he will really thrive when he illustrates how he can go number 2 and wipe all by himself. The standard of the Oval Office hasn’t just slipped down a mountain under Trump, it’s fallen off a cliff. 

Tiny hands for a tiny glass. Source: Indy 100

The floppy rally, funny as it was, had quite a sinister element when POTUS claimed he wanted to “slow the testing down please” because the more tests that happen, the more people have COVID-19, at least on official record. This new fire set ablaze by the President has required emergency extinguishers. Peter Navarro came on CNN and laughed as he explained “come on now Jake, you know it was tongue in cheek”, seriously? Light-hearted, good natured joshing about the virus that taken the lives of over 120’000 of your citizens sure is something you want to make light of and put a smile back on the faces. 

The question now is what Trump will do to shock his campaign back into life. Another failed rally will surely be disastrous for his bid. The silent majority he so vehemently claims that he speaks for are very, very quiet, eerily quiet, not present quiet. He is all at sea at the moment surrounded by busted life jackets that cannot keep him afloat due to the sheer weight of the cargo. If he is going to make it back to shore, he will have to do it alone and I don’t fancy him as much of a swimmer.

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