Britain hurtling headfirst towards Trump’s dystopia

David Cameron and George Osbourne were two of the most insufferable humans when they presided over Britain as Prime Minister and Chancellor of the Exchequer. I remember I used to get so angry watching them tear the two Eds (Miliband and Balls) limb from limb on the floor of the Chamber and thinking they had the two most repulsive faces in British politics. The Cheshire Cats of Westminster, strutting about the place, licking each other’s arses, and maintaining the lofty air of superiority that we have come to know and loathe in the Tories. Yet, I found myself reminiscing about times of austerity and of the worst headline for the government being the allegation that Dodgy Dave had a dead pig fellate him as part of the famous Bullingdon Club’s rituals. That is how bad things are. Britain is teetering on a knife edge in terms of how it will continue to govern, and the Dominic Cummings saga is just the tip of the iceberg.

The most staggering part of the day came when the Prime Minister silenced Sir Patrick Vallance and Professor Chris Whitty at today’s press briefing. They were specifically asked by Laura Kuenssberg if they felt that Dom’s example was one that people should be following. BoJo gave his little ramble and then dismissed the question for the two scientific experts, lauding it as a politically charged question. In the space of a week, the UK has made the transition from “following the science” to “silencing the science”. It is quite extraordinary to witness this in one of the supposed beacons of liberal democracy. Earlier last week, there was an Immigration Bill put forward by the Home Secretary and it can only be described as an absolute disgrace. A bill that, if it was in place years ago, would have meant that Priti Patel’s parents couldn’t even come to Britain. It makes the clear divide between first and second-class citizens, based on how much they earn. Those carers we clap every Thursday, apparently unskilled, the hospital porters we praise, unable to come here as they earn less than £25’600, the retail staff we have been so grateful for, shove off cos you ain’t British bruv. 

This is a surge of English nationalism that hasn’t yet fulfilled its potential and that is the scariest bit. How far will this go? An America first style policy on immigration? The kicking to the curb of the most marginalised people in a post COVID world? The breakup of the Union? I can envisage a time when the world looks across to see THE UNITED COUPLE OF ENGLAND AND WALES. Or worst of all, the cutting and cutting and cutting again of the NHS that will inevitably see it wiped out. The reason Johnson has strapped on his black belt in bullshit and hardhat of misdirection is because the man who is behind all of this is the man he must protect at all costs. Cummings specialises in dividing and conquering, in stoking the divisions in society to further a deeper tissue massage of his own ego and it seems like he is going to cling on like a limpet up a whale’s backside. There is, however, some semblance of hope. A light at the end of the tunnel in the form of Keir Starmer. But that light is very far away, 4 years away. 4 years for this 80 strong Tory government to implement Dom’s darkest desires, which they will no doubt do under the guise of British sovereignty.

This is what we are left with, a Britain led by a buffoon, controlled by a man who once hated the very thing he has become, an unelected, power hungry, rule breaking, bad eye sight having Machiavellian intellect that will drive the UK past Barnard Castle and straight towards Donald’s dystopia. I really, really do long for the days when we just had the alleged pig fucker in charge. 

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