Former Fine Gael member gives Dr. Leo one last call.

Leo is finishing the dregs of his 5th iced vanilla macchiato with cinnamon dusting of the day. His first day back in the medical profession in years has been a testing one. It’s 16:57. 3 more minutes and he can go home to Matthew, put his feet up and finish off the final 2 episodes of Tiger King. Getting closer and closer. Then, right on cue, the phone rings. Leo does his medical duty and picks it up for 49th time today. 

“Hello, Dr Varadkar speaking, how can I help you?”

“Dr Varadkar? Oh no… I’ll call back tomorrow, sorry.”

“No, please! You’re my last call of the day. How can I help you?”

“Leo it’s me… Catherine”

“Well good afternoon Catherine, how can I help you tod…Oh, for f**k’s sake it’s you again Catherine, just my f*****g luck. Try to be a bit of good for the country and look what I get on my first f*****g day back. You calling to make another little joke?”

“Leo please. I was really, really tired when I said that. And I apologised! You accepted it! In public! And no… I’m not calling… It’s something else.”

“Get real Catherine we both know I didn’t mean it when I said everything was alright. That was just to show that I’m a classy guy. I am a classy guy. Do you not think I’m a classy guy?”

“I do Leo. And I need your help… Please.”

“Yes, I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. And I do forgive you. Water under the bridge. Now what can I do for you?”

“Well I’m worried that they are at it again if I’m honest. But then I thought, maybe COVID-19 has shut it all down this year. I’m just really worried it could be 2016 all over again.”

“Who? What are you talking about, Catherine?”

“THE GAA LEO! They didn’t give me any tickets in 2016, they haven’t issued me anything yet and they won’t pick up my calls. I’m beginning to think they’re cutting me out again. Have you got your tickets?”

“Catherine. You’ve phoned the HSE. And you’re asking, did I get my GAA tickets?”

“I just thought maybe it had something to do with the COVID”

“well, would you maybe google that Catherine rather than calling the HSE?”

 “You’re right Leo, Thanks Leo” 

“No problem. Look if there’s nothing else Catherine I’m about to head home here, so I’ll talk to you. Stay Safe.” 

“Actually, Dr. Varadkar there is one thing…. You wouldn’t happen to know of any seats going in the Seanad would you?”


Feeling much better now, Leo leans back in his chair and exhales loudly before texting Matthew, “Put the lasagne in the oven, I’ll be home within the hour.” Using the desk as a crutch, he rises from the chair and begins peeling off his scrubs. Until next week.

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